Fabulous.

Today I feel fabulous. I have to cherish moments like these because they are inter-spersed between moments of not so fabulous-ness. I finally am starting to feel like myself again {besides the giant round belly that hides my toes from my eyes} I have not been continually sick in weeks, can you believe it? I feel better than I did before pregnancy and my energy level is amazing. Since I've been feeling so great, I made a personal goal of getting to the gym at least 2x per week to work out, and so far so good for the past few weeks. This week I might even make it 3x. I don't do much-usually the elliptical for 30 or 40 minutes, and then some upper body weight machines, but I feel soooo good when I'm done. And it helps to even out those cravings and periodic not so healthy snacking ;)

Beyond feeling physically healthy, I feel emotionally awesome as well. Today I was gifted with a year end bonus at work that is larger than I've ever received or expected. I am so grateful for my flexible job, happy work environment, and continuous benefits. Although we'll probably use it for something practical like paying off our last measely loan payments or for bean's birth, it still is so exciting. Jay wants to save it for our big vacation this summer or do something fun, so we'll see what we decide. On top of that, Jay got a little promotion/extra responsibility at work as well, so starting this paycheck {today} he'll be receiving an extra chunk of money each month too. He's such a hard worker and I am so proud of him! God has continually blessed our little family and we could not be more grateful. I can't wait to celebrate this weekend!

Tonight Jay has a coaching clinic so I have the night to myself. We have a busy weekend coming up so I have a small list of things to get done tonight, but most of it will be low key and hanging out at home. On the way home from work I'll be stopping at my very favorite place, The Nook after work to get some dinner to go and then heading home. If you have yet to experience The Nook's amazingness-you must go. The most delicious burgers and fries in the world, I promise. They've won awards.

Tomorrow is Jay's 5k and afterwards we are heading to his Dad's for a game day with the family. It will be so nice to catch up and visit with everyone who we don't get to see that often. We'll both be dressing up and getting a little festive for Halloween. We had to get a little creative for this year's costume for myself, so we'll see how it turns out. Sunday I'm shooting my last family session, and then we have our belly session with Meg! I just hope she can get a few images where I don't look like a huge beluga whale :) Then we are coming home to watch the Vikes and I'm hoping to bake some apple crisp. We made caramel apples last week and it's been fun to be so festive. Fall sure is passing quickly! Phew! That's a lot isn't it? I am cherishing and reveling in the fact that I don't work all day long on Saturday which is a first for me in a long time.

I'm headed to lunch with my cousin and I can't help but think, I'm a lucky girl today. Smile.

Our google search.

Eggplant.

Here I am at 25.5 weeks. She's about the size of an eggplant and around 1.5 pounds. We can see her kick from the outside now and it's so cool! It's fun to put something on my stomach and watch it dance up and down when she moves. She's VERY active!
We went back and fourth about a 4d ultrasound due to the price because they can get really expensive. I found a place near our home that offers them and inquired to see if they had any specials or promotions going on for the month of October, and I think the guy could tell we really wanted to come in but it was just too much money so he offered us almost 50% off! We jumped at the opportunity and scheduled it about a month ago.

Yesterday was the big day! It was one of the most amazing experiences of our lives. Seriously so cool. We were able to watch little bean wiggle around live on screen for about 45 minutes. Usually when we have an ultra sound it's at our doctor and it's all about business-they are looking for measurements or checking up on her so it's usually fast and efficient. We really liked this because the whole purpose was to be able to just look at bean-no hurried appointments, no measurements, nothing. The guy was very patient and showed us everything-the placenta, umbilical cord, blood supply, etc. He showed us all her body parts and the positions she was laying in. And he confirmed she was a girl right away! It was so cool to see her move on screen and simultaneously feel that movement in my belly. She is absolutely amazing. To see her little face was just the most unbelievable thing. My Mom was able to make this appointment with us and I was so happy she got to be there to see her. The tech said she has really long legs, arms and fingers, so mama is hoping she is blessed with thin genes! At certain points she would make coordinated movement (reaching out and grabbing the umbilical cord) and I joked that she's already got good hand coordination {daddy hopes she will be a star athelete!}. She is so tiny and precious and we love her so much already! Here are some of our favorite pictures. In the last one you can see a little smile {and some nice plump lips!!} :)

My friend Megan is hosting a shower for me in November and she sent me an invitation last week that I just have to share. She's so creative and talented and made them by hand! I have no doubt the shower will be amazing. She put so much time into these and I just can't wait to see what the rest will be like (it's a secret!) I can't wait! How cute are they? This will be my first shower and I am really looking forward to it.

Relief.

We've been through a roller coaster of emotions in the past few days! If you recall, I quickly posted about my glucose screening before going in for testing on Thursday. To make a very long, miserable story short- I failed. So heading into the weekend I was heartbroken. Suddenly I was faced with the possibility of having gestational diabetes, and also the risk of imposing that on baby. Having GD would require a strictly laid out diet plan and monitoring my blood sugar levels daily {4 finger pricks per day}. This could lead to me or bean developing diabetes later in life and post pregnancy as well. Not only that but it increases the probability that your baby will be larger at birth and therefore leads to a higher rate of cesarean sections. Panic mode was going in full force.

Not only did I fail the first screening, but during the meeting following the test my doctor informed me that he was leaving the practice and would not be working for a few months due to some major family emergencies. So, sorry you failed the glucose screening and I'm leaving you to panic on your own while you have to find a new doctor. Ok, so that's not how it happened at all, but that's what was going through my mind as I tried to choke back tears leaving the office. I failed again. In reality he felt terrible, and he suggested the next best doctor {and a great friend of his} that works at the same clinic. I was still super bummed because we loved him as our OB, and I wanted him to deliver little bean. Life goes on, right?

Before you start to panic too, I did eventually pass. Here's the story. So I had to fast on Thursday and head back to the office on Friday for further testing. Basically I had my blood drawn 4 times over a period of 3 hours, all of the time while I had to sit and wait at the office without leaving {and I couldn't eat!} Telling a pregnant person they can't eat when they haven't eaten since the prior day is torture, people. I passed the fasting blood draw {prior to drinking the glucola} and was under the number they wanted. They want you under 90 and I came in at 82-perfect. False hopes people, false hopes. After drinking the glucola-a nasty, super sugary drink that tastes like flat orange pop-I failed. They were looking for a number under 170 and I came in at 201! This was alarming because on Thursday for my previous test my numbers came in at 178, so we were all wondering why there was a sudden jump. I had to wait another hour. When they called me back for my third test they were looking for a number under 150, and I was at 139! Praise God! But, I since I had failed the previous test I had to wait the last hour and do the final test, and I had to pass that so I was not in the clear.That next hour was agonizing. I was sure that I had GD and I was mentally preparing myself for all that it entailed. By this time I was getting light headed because I was so hungry, I hadn't eaten in 18 hours! t just wanted to find out either way so I could be out of there and get some lunch. My last test brought sweet, sweet music to my ears. I needed a number under 140 and I was at 132, I had finally passed!!!!!!!! I had never felt such relief. They determined it just takes my body longer to process glucose, which is perfectly normal. But I tell you, it was a heck of a way to find out.

The rest of the day I was so ecstatic! I texted Jay the news right away because he was in conferences all day and waiting to hear. We had been talking throughout the day and I know he was just as nervous as I was. He promptly told me we would be going out to celebrate that night. I went and got a manicure and a pedicure and relaxed all day waiting for him to get home. He took me to Olive Garden where I've never eaten more in my life, and then to the movie Life As We Know It. We had been wanting to see it for awhile and it did not let us down, it was such a good movie. We had so much fun and because of this obstacle we were able to look at my pregnancy in a different, more appreciative light and be thankful that we have not experienced other complications thus far. To make the weekend even better, I shot my last wedding of the season Saturday! So besides one more family session next weekend, I am done working for the season. I am so so so so excited, and I couldn't plan a better weekend for the two of us!

Details from the doctor visit: My belly is measuring right at 25 weeks which is perfect as I'm a few days into my 25th week. I got to hear her precious heart beat and it totally made my day. I gained 6 pounds so I'm at a total gain of 12 so far, which I'm really happy about. That's the short update to a few very long days for us. Today we were able to see our little baby in 4d and I'll update more on that tomorrow with pictures, so stay tuned!

Pop!

That little bean is growing !! Here I am past v-day and getting rounder by the day. 24.5 weeks. Tomorrow I have my glucose test to test for gestational diabetes so I would appreciate any prayers that you can spare because I am nervous! But then I get to enjoy a day off and hopefully relax, work has been really stressful and super busy preparing for my leave. I can't wait to have a day to do whatever I feel like! Hopefully I'll get some blogging in. Tonight was our first pre-natal class and I have a lot to share, but right now a foot rub sounds better than story time ;) Goodnight!

Bittersweet.

Holy cow did I pop this last week! I was so excited to share my new belly picture with all of you and then I plugged my CF card into my work computer and it wouldn't read...so sad. So I'll get it up tonight when I get home from work.

I've officially made it to V-day!!! Viability day means that bean could be born anytime now and she would likely have a good change of survival. Of course, viability gets better the further along I get but it's strongly likely right now. Yay! Of course I hope she stays nestled in there and comfy for a few more months, but it's comforting to know that survival going forward is probable. I'm officially 6 months pregnant and can't believe I'm that far. God is good.

Since I don't have a picture to post, I'll share a few things that have been on my mind lately. This Saturday I have my very last wedding of the season!! I'm very excited about it, but it's a bittersweet feeling. I absolutely love photography and my growing like crazy business, and I will always continue on with it- but I have a greater love now. I've found a greater love in this little new found family we are growing, with a joy that I can't explain. Next year I'll be taking on limited weddings and sessions so that I don't take too much time away from that. Just in the past week I've turned down 6 weddings for 2011. 6 weddings in 7 days! It makes me cringe a little when I read those words, but I know it will be totally worth it. I used to want to acheive this fabulous high-end photographer status and be well known in the industry, but those dreams have changed. I still want to be fabulous of course, and my desire for high quality, amazing photography will never go away...but I'm happy with producing high-end photography for a small, particular set of brides and being content in my little corner of the world :) I'm ok with being the fly-under-the radar photographer that doesn't travel the world to shoot destination weddings all year and become world famous {hah-as if that was even possible, but you know what I mean}. Priorities change. I know life will get interesting once baby is here, and it will be sort of a balancing act-but I'm so excited about this new adventure we are on. I'm also excited to fine-tune the type of brides I work with and become picky with who I book. It's that time, and I feel so lucky.

xxoo-thanks for listening.

edit: I re-read this and it sounds like a bunch of ramblings, so let me clarify my thoughts. My main thought was that I no longer can do it all. I can't work full time plus work on the weekends and take care of a baby-I can't do it all, and I'm fully acknowledging that fact and adjusting. Although it's hard to turn down work, why push myself when I don't absolutely need to? Ever since we were approved for the loan repayment program, it's no longer a dire need to make the extra money for the additional loan payments, etc. Still, with that being said, I am choosing to continue the business because photography is a passion of mine. I love it. I'm just not ready to cut the ties to my full time job and have the pressure of having to book weddings to have an income. It would just be too stressful with the new baby in the house. Right now I book as little or as much as I want, because I don't have the pressure of needing the {extra} income. And the beauty of my business is I can work as much or as little as needed, so once again, I'm learning to go with the flow. And I'm ok with that ;)

Happy Friday!

It's 2:56 pm and the office is dead....so I am packing up and heading to the Mall to finish my Christmas shopping!! It's about time we kick-off our amazing weekend...Jay is planning to meet me for dinner there after work and then who knows where the night will lead. Happy Friday everyone! Be blessed.

Congratulations!

Congratulations to my dear friend Carrie, who had another sweet baby boy named Cooper Bennett. He was 8lbs. 8 oz. and 20.5 inches long! I'm hoping when I get to meet him she'll let me snap a few pictures and then I can share his precious face. Congrats Carrie + Clay on your new addition to the family!

Approved.

I have so much to update! Here is bean at 23.5 weeks, almost to v-day!! She is taking over all the space in my stomach and wiggles all day long. Jay got to feel her kick for the first time on Saturday :) Still wearing my regular jeans but not for much longer I'm afraid. I am noticing I am getting a little more uncomfortable moving around and sleeping at night, and I know it is just the start of things to come. Good thing I am almost done working on weekends. I am sooooo looking forward to this weekend because it's the first in a long while that I don't have a wedding. I do have some work on Saturday, but I won't be working until 9 or 10 pm and I can't wait. We are excited for Friday to get here.

Today I'm making appointments to get my hair foiled, mani/pedi, and a massage for the end of the month...all my rewards for working hard this season and to celebrate the end of wedding season this year. I am super excited I get to be pampered AND be finished working at the same time. Almost there, I can do it!!
Here are a few pictures of the things my Mom has been making Bean. Burp cloths + receiving blankets!
Last week I took advantage of Old Navy's super clearance and additional e-mail coupons and purchased a few sweaters for Jay to wear for our family session. They were $9 a piece with all the discounts, score! He really needed some new dress clothes to wear for the holidays and to weddings so now he'll be all decked out, and we killed a few birds with one stone. I made him branch out and try some new colors and he wasn't so sure about them at first, but after getting his package and trying them on and getting adoring comments from me, I think he sort of likes them ;) He's a blue man. Always loves blue and gray and anything else that is muted, but this time we went with something fun...so you'll just have to wait and see what he'll be wearing in a few weeks! I got the cutest top and dress and am looking forward to the shoot {even if I feel like a huge ball of butter}.

And lastly, our most exciting news is that we got approved and accepted for the loan repayment plan that we applied for!!! So now they are paying for a portion of our loans just because Jay works at a low income school. You can imagine how excited we were when we opened that letter. I think I squealed like a small child! Between that and the rest of my photography money, we are set for paying those babies off. I'm going to toot my own horn right now and share that in one short year we've paid off over $25,000 in student loan debt. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and the end is in sight! I cannot believe our student loan debt is almost paid off. Just in time for baby to arrive too. Thank you Jesus !! I'm not even going to start with my thoughts on where that money could have gone had we not had to use it for that specific purpose. Sigh. Oh well, soon it will be directed towards another means of savings and we will be DEBT FREE!!!!!!!!!!!

Louis.

So my Mom has been asking me pretty consistently what I'd like for Christmas and it got me daydreaming about if money was no object. I would not think twice about purchasing an overpriced, premium leather handbag for this lady here if that were the case. I LOVE me some Louis.

Ok, that's a total lie. I would definetly think twice. I would think 4 million times and second guess myself before making a purchase like that. Mostly because we don't have the money to be spending on items like that, but also because I'm really not a high end designer girl. At all. I'm what I call a bargain shopper, because I have to be. All my clothes are from forever 21 or marshall's and I don't often buy things at full price or spend a lot of money on myself. I LOVE to spend money on others though!!! But-I've always had a sweet spot for Louis. It's really the only designer item of anything I've ever had an interest in. I even made Jay scour all of Paris this summer looking for a knock off to fulfill my desire...but alas, there were none to be found. Yes I realize they are ridiculously priced, but don't you have that one item in your mind that you wouldn't mind splurging on yourself for? Scratch that. I would probably mind though, that's the thing. I'd make myself feel so darn guilty for buying it that I'd probably return it a few hours later. I'm too practical. It's probably worth the money for how long they last, rather than buying a few purses a year, but I still can't bring myself to even think about shelling over that kind of money. Maybe I should google some knock-offs or find an outlet store. I've never had a designer handbag, and I probably never will...but a girl can dream, right?

22 weeks.

Here I am at 22.5 weeks, and I feel HUGE! Touring the hospital last night got us so excited. I was a little apprehensive, but Jay took me to a cute little place for dinner and we talked through everything. I was feeling anxious-excited, because I feel like it is all going to happen before we know it and this little girl is going to be here! I'm in total denial of laboring/giving birth still and I have a feeling I'm about to pop out of that bubble soon. It made it all so real last night, and after talking me through some of my fears last night, Jay got me super excited! We are going to bring a baby into this world in less than 4 months! The hospital was amazing, and the staff was so great. Some of our favorite perks are; 24 hour visiting hours-so family won't be restricted, lactation consultant, large bathtub in every room, acupuncture/massage at any time, and 24 hour room service with a delicious looking menu ;) All of that is free for me/us as a patient. Everything was so clean and spacious and calming, which I really liked, and they made sure to mention several times that if we ever need anything just to ask, because no request is too large or too small. They are pretty hollistic which is really sweet. We are all registered and set to go now! We came home from dinner to a package from Gina, a friend from Etsy! She is so amazing. We wanted to special order a baby blanket that would coordinate with her nursery and lay on the top of our rocker. We decided a yellow buttercream color would add a happy, fun vibe to that corner of the room. Gina worked with me to combine a few patterns/edges that I loved to create the perfect blanket for bean. I just love the ruffled edge. She was so patient and it turned out so great! It is so soft + beautiful, and she even made us a little yellow beanie hat to match. If you are ever in need of a high quality, affordable handmade blanket, please check out Gina's shop. Make sure to tell her I sent you. Gina, we love our blanket, it is perfect!

Papaya.

I blinked my eyes and it was October 4th! Summer is gone and fall is officially here. The weather has been amazing and just another thing to be thankful for. Yesterday morning I woke up to the stillness and silence of our house. I had a billion things to do, but instead of rushing out of bed, I enjoyed the quiet time. I layed and waited for bean to wake up. I switched positions, poked my stomach and layed on my back for about 15 minutes. She usually starts kicking when I'm on my back because she wants me to roll over. After awhile Jay woke up and rolled over to say good morning to me and his baby. As soon as he stirred and started talking, I felt a big kick. It was the cutest thing ever, and I told him she wakes up as soon as she hears her daddy's voice. Each time it's still such a rush when she kicks and says hello. I love her!!

I had a wedding on Saturday and Jay headed to my Mom's to bring over her crib and set it up for her in our room at her house. He got to see some of the projects she's been working on for us, and things she has made to stay at Grandma's. I found a picture of some of the flannel she is using to make us receiving blankets and burp cloths...aqua, pink + yellow owls....it is so soft, comfy + adorable!! We've been going back + fourth about maternity pictures and have finally decided to do a small session with my assistant. I'm not really sure what we'll do with the pictures, but I don't want to look back and regret not having them. So now I'm on to my next task of deciding what we should wear + a location to shoot at. Hopefully we'll get a chance to find something this week. Tonight we are touring the maternity wing in the hospital where we'll be having bean, and we are both excited!