Bittersweet.

Holy cow did I pop this last week! I was so excited to share my new belly picture with all of you and then I plugged my CF card into my work computer and it wouldn't read...so sad. So I'll get it up tonight when I get home from work.

I've officially made it to V-day!!! Viability day means that bean could be born anytime now and she would likely have a good change of survival. Of course, viability gets better the further along I get but it's strongly likely right now. Yay! Of course I hope she stays nestled in there and comfy for a few more months, but it's comforting to know that survival going forward is probable. I'm officially 6 months pregnant and can't believe I'm that far. God is good.

Since I don't have a picture to post, I'll share a few things that have been on my mind lately. This Saturday I have my very last wedding of the season!! I'm very excited about it, but it's a bittersweet feeling. I absolutely love photography and my growing like crazy business, and I will always continue on with it- but I have a greater love now. I've found a greater love in this little new found family we are growing, with a joy that I can't explain. Next year I'll be taking on limited weddings and sessions so that I don't take too much time away from that. Just in the past week I've turned down 6 weddings for 2011. 6 weddings in 7 days! It makes me cringe a little when I read those words, but I know it will be totally worth it. I used to want to acheive this fabulous high-end photographer status and be well known in the industry, but those dreams have changed. I still want to be fabulous of course, and my desire for high quality, amazing photography will never go away...but I'm happy with producing high-end photography for a small, particular set of brides and being content in my little corner of the world :) I'm ok with being the fly-under-the radar photographer that doesn't travel the world to shoot destination weddings all year and become world famous {hah-as if that was even possible, but you know what I mean}. Priorities change. I know life will get interesting once baby is here, and it will be sort of a balancing act-but I'm so excited about this new adventure we are on. I'm also excited to fine-tune the type of brides I work with and become picky with who I book. It's that time, and I feel so lucky.

xxoo-thanks for listening.

edit: I re-read this and it sounds like a bunch of ramblings, so let me clarify my thoughts. My main thought was that I no longer can do it all. I can't work full time plus work on the weekends and take care of a baby-I can't do it all, and I'm fully acknowledging that fact and adjusting. Although it's hard to turn down work, why push myself when I don't absolutely need to? Ever since we were approved for the loan repayment program, it's no longer a dire need to make the extra money for the additional loan payments, etc. Still, with that being said, I am choosing to continue the business because photography is a passion of mine. I love it. I'm just not ready to cut the ties to my full time job and have the pressure of having to book weddings to have an income. It would just be too stressful with the new baby in the house. Right now I book as little or as much as I want, because I don't have the pressure of needing the {extra} income. And the beauty of my business is I can work as much or as little as needed, so once again, I'm learning to go with the flow. And I'm ok with that ;)