Dear Lucy,

I love how your little hand barely wraps around my pinky finger.

I love when you squeak like a little bird

when you want mama to pick you up.

I love when you reach out to touch my face with your little hands.

I love when I lay you next to me on the bed and you wiggle

until you are as close to me as you can get.

I love when I inch away and you do it again.

I love the way you smell like a fresh little flower,

and the curl forming at the top of your hairline.

I love when you turn your head to find daddy's voice whenever he speaks.

I love when you lean towards me when other people are holding you.

I love the way you sometimes won't sleep in your bassinet,

but as soon as you lay with me you fall asleep.

I love watching you suck your little thumb.

I love you so much!

Life is good.

Things are going well in our little home of three. We've been soaking up every minute we can with our precious baby girl. On Thursday she was a month old! She's growing so much and so fast already. On Valentines Day we were lucky enough to have my Mom babysit her so Jay and I could get out for a date! That morning we had a delivery of beautiful flowers from Daddy and I was so excited all day because I had no idea what we were doing. He took me out for a nice dinner at Pier 500-I would highly recommend this yummy place! He was thoughtful enough to make early reservations at 5:00 so we could get home and watch the bachelor and just relax. It was a great evening. My two Valentines!

We've been lucky enough to get out a few times already alone together and we cherish that time together. I don't know what we'd do without family around, we have so much help! It's so nice for people to swing by with a home cooked meal or a box of diapers, or just an extra hand so we can get out for an hour or two or run errands. I don't know how the mama's do it that don't have family nearby, they are my heros!

Lucy is more active and alert everyday. We've been having fun together during the days and when she's not feeding or sleeping, we take a lot of pictures! This newborn stage is just so precious and fleeting and I know I only have a few more weeks to capture it. She's already almost outgrown her newborn clothes and diapers! I've also been trying to get started/catch up to date on her scrapbook. Here is her one month picture.

I've decided to take her picture each month (she is laying on a piece of fabric, and I photoshopped the printing onto her onesie). When she's a year old we plan on framing all twelve photos for a fun memory of her first year. I plan on getting a few other yards of fabric to utilize, and we may end up making a blanket with the fabric when we are finished with the project. It's a fun and low cost way to document her new little life.

Now the three of us are cuddled together in bed watching movies and actually enjoying a snowstorm for the first time this winter! We've never been happier to be snowed in ;) Life is good {great}.

Life with Lucy.

Lucy is such a good little girl, she even allowed me some time to re-vamp our blog the other day! Adjusting to her schedule has been easier than we expected and while taking care of her takes a lot of time, it's a lot easier than we thought it would be. When she's not napping during the day she is very alert and content just looking around her new little world. She loves to be sung to and it is just so precious to hold her in front of you and watch her little eyes scan your face, taking in all the details and memorizing what you look like. We can't wait until she starts to smile! Here are a few pictures I took of little bean.

Our days pass quickly and by the time we know it, Daddy is home! It's so rewarding to spend days at home with Lucy and take care of her. We've had a ton of visitors and still more to come. One of my mom's friends has come over twice to clean our house for us and we are so thankful! I just haven't had time or gotten our routine to the point where I can get enough time to clean the whole house, so that has been so nice. Jenni came over today and spent the day with us and that was really fun, she loves her Godmama!

We met with our pastor on Saturday and planned her baptism for March and we are so excited. So we've started planning the event and the luncheon to follow and we can't wait to share her special day with our family. We're looking for my baptism outfit which Bunny made for me, because I'd love for her to wear it. We also got her birth announcements ordered and are anxiously awaiting their arrival!

Tonight is movie night and it's time to go snuggle with my little family :) xxoo

Lucy's birth story.

I had a very long and tiring labor. We headed to the hospital on the 18th, but Lucy wasn't born until the 20th. I labored for 3 days, and although it was an emotional and stressful few days, I wouldn't change a thing!

On Tuesday, January 18th Jay and I were laying in bed watching the movie Inception when my water broke around 9:15 pm. Even though it was obviously coming, we were shocked! We both looked at each other thinking, "what do we do now??!" I was planning on laboring at home as much as I could before heading to the hospital, but things weren't panning out like we thought they would. Instead of my contractions picking up, they sort of stalled out. I had been having them for weeks prior, so I was surprised that they were not progressing. I could tell Jay was nervous, because he was scurrying around the house trying to keep busy, but would come check on me every few minutes to see how I was feeling. I was actually very calm. We cleaned up Lucy's nursery, picked up around the house, made some food for the hospital, and changed our sheets. We sat on the edge of our bed together and prayed for Lucy, and then finally we reluctantly headed to the hospital to meet my Mom around midnight.

I was checked for progress a few hours after being admitted (they wouldn't let me leave since my water had broken) and I was disappointed to hear I was only dilated to 1 cm. 2 weeks prior at my doctor appointment I was already at 1 cm, and although I was progressing in other ways (her head was engaged and I was 50% effaced) I still felt disappointed. Right away they wanted to start pitocin to speed things up, but we declined. I really wanted to experience a natural labor and not have to medicate myself and potentially harm Lucy. So we continued laboring naturally. I labored through the night Tuesday with no sleep, and all day Wednesday. By Wednesday night they were concerned that it had been 24 hours since my water broke and they were pushing the pitocin again. At that point I hadn't slept in 2 days and had not had much to eat. My doctor said we needed to do something to get things going soon if I wasn't progressing on my own. She offered to give me the night to rest and hopefully progress naturally, or else Thursday morning we would need to intervene for the health of Lucy. We agreed, and we prayed that my body would cooperate through the night.

So I labored through the night Wednesday and contractions became stronger and closer together. By 5 am they checked me and I was only dilated to 2.5 cm. I was devastated! I was 90% effaced but was just not progressing quickly enough on my own. I was handling contractions great and labor was not as bad as I expected, but it wasn't quick enough and they were worried about the risk of infection since my water had broken 3 days prior. I had labored for 2.5 days on my own and was just not progressing enough. So Thursday morning I ran out of options-I had to get pitocin to move things along. Once I started the pitocin labor was complete hell! It was so painful and the contractions were so strong and so close together, and I could feel Lucy squirming around in my belly and I knew she was uncomfortable, it was awful. I labored through 4 hours of pitocin contractions until I thought I was going to die, and I finally got an epidural around 9am. After the epidural life was amazing! I could not feel anything and I progressed very quickly. By 1pm I was 10 cm and started pushing at 1:30, and she was born at 3:03 pm. My mom, sister, and Jay were all there in the delivery room helping me push and encouraging me. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever experienced, and so different than I thought it would be. I was very quiet and calm through the entire experience. I could not wait to meet my baby.

I felt like I had pushed for 5 minutes and then she was born. They placed her on my chest and she looked up at her mama with her beautiful tiny little eyes and we just stared at each other. She didn't cry. She was perfect. She reached out and grabbed my finger and held on for dear life. I looked at Jay and we cried like babies. I just kept saying she is so beautiful, and he kissed me and told me she looked just like her mama.

When she was born the cord was wrapped around her neck twice, so the doctor had to cut it before she was out-pushing her into the traumatic birth category. Jay was later able to cut the cord shorter, but we weren't able to let it stop pulsing like we had hoped. Because of this and the length of time that passed after my water had broken, her blood sugar levels were very low and she had to be closely monitored, having blood drawn every 3 hours after she was born. My milk had not come in yet so she had to be supplemented with high caloric formula to raise her blood sugar level. I was not happy that we had to give her formula-but the positive side was that it gave Jay the chance to feed and bond with her, which I loved watching. We opted to feed her through an SNS tube, which means a small tube is taped to our finger and she sucks from our finger, rather than a bottle. We didn't want her introduced to a bottle until she was successfully breastfeeding. I know Jay really enjoyed those first few feedings of her life. It was a precious sight.

After a few days my milk came in and we were (thankfully) able to stop supplementing with formula, and she is doing great now. She dropped to 7lbs. on day two, but at her 2 week checkup yesterday she was a plump 8lbs. 4 oz! It was an emotional roller coaster, and I absolutely could not have done it without Jay. He was by my side every step of the way, and I'm sure he saw and heard things he never thought he would be able to handle and he was amazing. We have become closer than I ever thought we could be and we just appreciate each other so much. He was so loving and caring and attentive to my needs and he was the best support system I could have asked for. He was my first line of defense when something was not happening as I wanted, and he was my advocate for what I needed and hoped for. We also had an awesome doula who we loved.


Although labor did not go how we had originally hoped, Lucy is here safe and sound and that is all that matters! A few days after she was born, Jay surprised me and my Grandma (who was staying with us) with massages! So we were able to get out and have some relaxing alone time. He also watched Lucy so I could go get my hair done and have some me time. It was awesome. Jay is the best hands on daddy in the world. He takes the initiative with Lucy and just loves being with her. I love that he is comfortable feeding, changing and taking care of her on his own. Life is good at home and we are adjusting to Lucy's schedule really well. She's a really easy going baby and we are very lucky, she is like her daddy in that way. We just love her so much! Here is one of the first pictures taken of her after she was born.

Two weeks old.

I have a few precious spare minutes while my baby girl cuddles with Grandma, and Daddy is sleeping so I don't know what to do with myself! Free time is few and far between these days, and that is perfectly fine with me. Although I don't have much time, I think it's important for me to document this time in our life as often as I can because it is fleeting and so precious.

When I look at the tiny being in my arms I often wonder how I could be so lucky. How could I be part of something so perfect? This precious little baby knit together with intention is a part of me. I was part of an absolute miracle. She is so tiny and such a blessing to us.

Tomorrow she will be two weeks old and I can already see change in her. She's growing like crazy! We're beginning to create her birth announcements and plan her baptism. We have so much to look forward to, and so many memories to look back on. Last night was our first night alone with Lucy, and today my first day on my own with her. Everything went great, she's such a good baby. We've been so spoiled because Bunny stayed with us the first week we were home, and my mom has been staying with us since she left. It's so nice to have the extra hands and not have to worry about cooking, cleaning, etc. Plus we've been getting lots of sleep!

I need to sit down and write up her birth story but I haven't had time yet because it was a long few days :) My mama is staying with us tonight so I hope I can find some time tomorrow to do that.

At two weeks old Lucy is:

-Sleeping until I wake her at night to feed, and sleeping most of the day!

-Only cries when she is not fed on time! She's such a low key baby.

-Holds her head up and looks around, responding to voices and noises.

-Loves being sung to.

-Will put herself to sleep.

-Is a loud sleeper. She likes to sigh and grunt :)

-Loves to cuddle on my chest.

-Sucks her thumb.

-Loves her hands by her face.

-Is starting to like her bath.