Thoughts on Thursdays...

I don't know why but Thursdays have typically been a "reflection" kind of day for me. I think because it's a day of stillness. The bulk of the work week is over & the weekend craziness/business has not begun yet. I always know the weekend is within reach. So, on Thursdays I've decided to share thoughts on the biggest challenge, journey & joyride we experience: marriage. We still have SO much to learn about marriage & my hope is that by sharing thoughts we will be able to grow & learn together. If you want to participate place a link to your post in the comment section so everyone can read your thoughts, challenges, heartaches & inspirations on marriage. Because I believe marriage is the holiest union created by God, most of these will most likely be biblical (but yours doesn't have to be!).

Jay is called to love me & die for me as Christ died for the church. He is called to love me as he loves himself & how he wants to be loved. To care for me first, to love me first. He is called to leave his family to unite only and totally to me. To me. That's a pretty big calling if you ask me. sometimes I don't even want to be united to myself.

I am called to respect him. Sometimes I really struggle with this. Not totally, just little instances. Why? because I've lived a pretty independent life even through the years of dating him. We dated from age 15 to 23 & then married. I've always done what I wanted or what I thought was right & made my own decisions. Living 4.5 hours apart from each other for 4 years of college didn't help either. I got used to being the boss & depending on myself. Plus, anyone who knows me knows that I am a pretty strong-willed woman =) So when issues arrise, I jump to make the decision & decides what is best, (and sometimes judge his opinion or ideas) thinking I am always right. I need to make a daily effort to let him lead our life (with my input of course ;) and to trust that his decisions are sound & valuable. I just need to respect him more. Bless his precious heart for letting me take the reins of our relationship when I feel the need & for quietly holding his tongue in the process. There'a a bible verse that refers to removing the plank from your own eye before removing the speck from your neighbors. This one hits me up the side of the head all. the. time. Instead of focusing on what he should do better, or what he should fix-I need to worry about what I should work on.

One of the biggest things I've learned about marriage is that I can't change my husband-and-he's not just like me. Just as God accepts me with all of my flaws, scars, & problems-I have to accept him for who he is and let him be the man God intended him to be. He's also not a reflection of myself. He doesn't like to read every day & he's not addicted to reality tv shows & he doesn't like fried pickles (!!). But that's ok. Just because I like those things doesn't mean he naturally does too (without my influence or his patience). and it's ok.

Marriage takes a lot of selflessness, acceptance & respect.